How To Level-Up Your Novel's Dialog With One Tiny Fix

If you’re short on time, and want to skip to the takeaway:

When you’re writing dialog, just use said (or say, if you’re writing in present tense).

Now, let me be perfectly clear, I do use plenty of other dialog tags in my books. Some of my favorites, especially for romance:

Asked

Whispered

Growled

Snapped

While my copyeditors have been known to disagree, I think using these judiciously can help bring the scene alive, and up the emotion/tension.

But I would argue that the number one marker of an unpolished writer is too many different dialog tags.

I understand where the instinct comes from. We think that as writers we’re supposed to have a varied vocabulary. The idea of using the same word over and over again makes us a bit panicky, so we start throwing in exclaimed, yelled, retorted, griped, stammered, declared, stuttered, remarked…

I get it. You want to avoid word repetition. 

But I'm giving you permission to make said an exception to that rule.

In fact, for the sake of this argument, let’s just treat “said” like an article.

Do you stress out about overusing that or a? Do you worry out that you've overused the word the? Of course not. Give said that same free pass.

Here’s an example of chunk of dialog that screams “amateur” to me:

"I saw you at the party last night," he mentioned, sipping his coffee.

“Did you?" she retorted, arching an eyebrow.

“You seemed to be having fun," he noted.

"I didn't get a chance to say hi," he regretted, frowning slightly.

"Maybe next time!” she exclaimed, winking.

“Maybe. If I feel like risking getting a black eye from your ‘moves’,” he teased.

“Honestly, I’m more worried about you throwing out a hip,” she quipped, laughing

Note that the way something is said gets as many words as the dialog itself?

The result if a very “jerky” reading experience, like a new driver constantly alternating between accelerator break, with no concept of coast. Mentioned! Retorted! Noted! Regretted! Exclaimed! Teased! Quipped!

Now, here’s that same exchange. Note that the dialog still isn’t exactly Nora Ephron worthy, but see how much cleaner it reads?

"I saw you at the party last night," he said, sipping his coffee.

She arched an eyebrow. “Did you?"

“You seemed to be having fun," he said after a slight pause.

"I was."

“I didn't get a chance to say hi." He held her gaze.

Her breath caught ever so slightly at his unexpected intensity. “Maybe next time.”

"Maybe. If I feel like risking getting a black eye from your ‘moves.” he said casually, steering the conversation back to safer territory.

She didn't know if she was disappointed or relieved, but tried to play along. “Honestly, “I’m more worried about you throwing out a hip.”

The difference? It replaces some of the dialog tag with beats (a topic for a different day), and … you guessed it…

It uses the word said. Multiple times.

Read it again. Doesn't said disappear wonderfully into the background, and let the exchange itself come to life?

If you’re not sure when to replace said with something else, try my go-to approach: In the first draft, only use “said.” This lets you focus on the dialog itself, making sure it speaks for itself and is as strong as it can be.

Then, in revisions, that’s where you give yourself permission to sprinkle in the stronger tags like asked, snapped, snarled.

But as a general rule? Less is more.

Just use said.

Further reading: I first learned about the simple beauty of said in this book.

I really believe that applying the lessons I learned in this book is single-handedly responsible for the fact that my very first finished manuscript landed me an agent and book deal!

No affiliate link. I'm just a fan.

Lauren LeDonne

INTJ • Aries Sun, Taurus Moon, Cancer Rising • Enneagram Type 5 • Ravenclaw

https://laurenledonne.com
Previous
Previous

3 Writing Rules It's Okay to Break

Next
Next

Beyond Amazon: The Power of an Author Website